I REMEMBER

 

I    REMEMBER……………………………….

I REMEMBER   the day my brother was born-----------

So pink, so tiny with eyes all screwed up----and the nails? So pink….so perfect.

I REMEMBER playing in the huge courtyard in the rambling house at the farm with marbles----- as big as golf balls….

They don’t make marbles like that any more------

I REMEMBER the summer vacations spentin the crumbling old mansion  with all the cousins---------

The midnight feasts, the sandwiches, the marmalade on toast, the huge bathroom with its winding staircase leading to the mysterious tunnel that my grannie’s granny talked about------

I REMEMBER sitting in the cozy bay window in the 250 year old red brick high ceilinged village house, watching the rain come crashing down…such gigantic droplets

…Are they always this big I used to wonder?? –

I REMEMBER   my grandmother…. frail and still beautiful, her ruby and emerald ring ….of course the humongous diamond nose pin…-----------

I REMEMBER my other granny----------her comforting hug, her peculiar brand of wisdom the love that shone from her eyes each time she looked at me -------

 I REMEMBER her semolina pudding---always too sweet, too full of raisins-----------No one makes it the way she did; any more-------------

I REMEMBER my days in school; those halcyon days, when Math was a monster and Science a nightmare--------------

I REMEMBER reading mushy Mills and Boons, Georgette Heyer and Angelique in the light of the torch under my quilt ……..

I REMEMBER the day of my graduation, my first sari, ---------- a deep maroon silk  and bangles----- dozens of maroon glass bangles that jangled and sparkled --------

I REMEMBER the look in my father’s eyes----incredulous, dis-believing-----

Was that svelte vision really me ? -----? Stodgy me with oiled hair in pigtails, spots on my face and nails chewed right to the bone? -----------

I REMEMBER my wedding day----tremulous me, resplendent in my ethnic finery with butterflies in my stomach and stars in my eyes--------

I REMEMBER the Henna on my hands, its   color and its fragrance--- I can smell it even now-----------

I REMEMBER my first house as a tea bride---------a charming cottage nestled in the foothills of a mountain range----with a huge garden and a sloping roof…where snails as big as the ones we read in Hans Christian Anderson abounded…Lush green grass and gerberas….. hundreds of them tossing their heads in the breeze—like daffodils ---only not yellow……

I REMEMBER ---the day my son was born…A replica of me, his tiny monkey face and hands so pink, so soft curled tight into fists’

I REMEMBER the day my daughter was born…. cuddly, curled hair, and eyes so wide so black that sparkled so bright…. they lit up the whole room …

I REMEMBER my husband---- so tall... so dark ….so lean --- he looked like he would die for me--

Life seemed beautiful then-------- but nothing lasts for ever------

I REMEMBER ...............the unhappiness…the hurt and the pain

I REMEMBER the last look we gave each other when he chose to go his way and I mine. -----Everyone said  there is a whole new world waiting for me---

And yet there are times that I REMEMBER…….