JUST BREATHE

 

There are some days when you give yourself time to breathe and think about your journey.

I thought I should …… and today evening just happened to be one of them.

For the last one year we have been in lockdown here and life has been transformed.

For months now, I have not the mad urgency of gulping my cereal down, rushing out of the front door for my drive to work.

For months now, I have not used the time in the car used to make the inevitable blue tooth call back home to mama talking about things as mundane as how to make “Gobi ka achaar”(that I have never made so far).

 For months now, I have not been to the mandatory evening at the local pub, sipping a lovely Rioja with friends and setting the world to right!

For months now, I have not had prosecco and nibbles with friends from the village.

For months now, I have not shared potluck and played Gin Rummy with friends

For months now, I have not been to the theatre and cinema

For months now, I have missed being the TK Maxx queen

And life is still ok?

Last week we had a Microsoft teams meeting at work titled” Action to Happiness”.?? And Mindfulness was the new buzzword ….

The thesaurus defines it “As a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique”

So, when we practise it……………………………………………………….

 We live in the moment………… For that moment …… Blank everything else out.

So, do I practise it?

Is there a time in the day or night when my brain is not teeming with the 101 things that need to be done, thoughts turning to things like getting  the LED  kitchen lights fixed , like getting the lawn returfed , like getting new fascia’s, like  painting the fence , like  worrying about the lives and careers  of my young adults ,like thinking about my retirement in 10 years and also like  losing the ungainly 8 pounds of  gained during lockdown???

Is my MIND EVER IN THE MOMENT?

Just in the moment, when I can feel myself breathe,

Just feel my heartbeat,

Just hear nothing,

Just think nothing

BUT JUST BE? ….

After a particularly rough day at work and with my “supposed” newfound mindfulness about of mindfulness , I decided to de -stress and go for a brisk walk in the sun …

The sun was warm on my face. I raised my face towards it to  feel the warm rays of sunlight on my face  but as I looked towards my right, I saw the  glorious hues of orange, pink and purple and inevitably came out the small rose gold Apple beast to capture the  moment !!

Not just that, I  immediately sent it to a  friend and got a “Wah” in response  and this led me to  click two more photos ..I walked on but my mind was churning with the thought of clicking pictures at the same spot two hours later and captioning it “Evening vibes” ??

And of course, whilst walking, I was not alone; the mesmerising sound of Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan Sahib, Begum Akhtar, Bade Ghulam Ali Khan  Sahib , Ali Sethi and Julio Iglesias  resonated in my ears … I kept constantly checking my Insta feed and Twitter handle my FB for updates, Messenger and WhatsApp to send videos and songs to friends???

On my way home after a nearly 8 kilometres when it was just getting to twilight, I stopped and clicked more picture of the same spot I had captured earlier?

Mindfulness had gone out of the window …

Why this constant need to be connected to someone/anyone?

Why could I have not left my phone at home?

Why could I not have seen the sunset in all its glory and kept that image in my mind to rekindle and recapture in my minds eyes whenever I wanted to instead of reaching out for my phone?

Why could I have not just walked along the village road and looked at the bobbing yellow daffodils just springing on the side of the road?

Why could I not just shut my brain?

Just be mindful of living in the moment

And just breathe??